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The Following was printed in a newspaper
called NY(New York) Press and sent to us.

Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps

Clip Art for Christ. Christian literature is easy entertainment, sure, so long as it's on your own terms. For instance, I didn't particularly enjoy reading the psalms tacked up in my born-again sister's bathroom, but I do enjoy thumbing through X-ian lit. on my own hopper. But for those times when you're spending more than a few minutes on the bowl, those Jack Chicks just ain't enough. Enter the Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps.

Some joker signed me up with the ACMTC about two years ago; I receive packages every few months. While your average Christian tracts sport headlines like, "If being a Christian were a crime, could they convict you?" ACMTC doesn't f__k around with cliches. Instead, they try for the fringe heretics with pitches like "Rough and Tough, You Think You're Hot Stuff? Then Join the Army of God!...Why be a REBEL for Satan?" Furthermore, they're pretty contemporary with gems like: "As if stealing booze and getting drunk wasn't enough for the emerging GENERATION X. Now it has come to drinking human blood and eating human flesh through cannibalism." How else can you eat human flesh if not through cannibalism? Yowser, that's priceless!

   The ACMTC is easily the most entertaining mailing list I'm on. In addition to the one-page brochures, you'll also get the tabloids Tribal Call, Words of the Spirit, Wisdom's Cry and, my favorite, Battle Cry Sounding. While the latter proclaims the ACMTC "an un-gunned army," the others suggest a fine line between militia and congregation.

    Often hateful, always intolerant and ever-patriotic, ACMTC materials are perfect clip art fodder for zine types and great crapper material for everyone else. Think of it this way: it may represent everything you oppose, but it's also a few bucks in printing and postage that they'll waste on you.


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